If I'm aware of someone doing a moral wrong, what obligation do I have to do something about it?
No names. She's my next door neighbor, he used to be a tenant. I've known them since I moved here. He beats her, and today I saw the immediate after-effects. (I did not see the event itself, and I'm fairly certain that if I did, I wouldn't be here writing this.)
I felt a rage today that I cannot recall ever having felt before. I wanted so badly to catch him off-guard and smash his front teeth in, break his legs so that he couldn't walk that f'n cocky walk...
And all I did was bite my lip, clench my fists, and call him an ass* when I got inside. I almost felt disappointed in myself that I had _not_ done something to him...
My level of respect for him is, at this point, the bare minimum. I cannot look at him anymore without some flare of anger... Every time that I think I've witnessed him do a Good act, he counter-acts it a thousand-fold. Or, I find out later that his motivations were entirely selfish...
But, I know my rage, my lashing out, won't teach him anything. In fact, it will re-enforce the problem.
My calling the cops only earns me an enemy (if not many), instead of giving him a lesson.
My pulling her aside and telling her that she's too beautiful for his s*, her kids are too precious for his s*....
All I can do is suggest the very thing she already knows, but doesn't have the strength to follow through with.
Am I to sit back and let her deal with it alone? as she has been for years? (I wanna help...)
Am I tacitly admitting to some form of guilt because I did not react, did not shame him, did not say/do something right then and there?
Am I stuck simply making f'n suggestions to her?
I know it's her life, and she can do with it as she sees fit. But I also know that sometimes we cannot do something alone, and require someone else's help. But what can I do?
****
I just talked with her, and my heart hurts again. She said that he's all she's got -- I said that he ain't worth that much. Then she corrected herself and said, "You're the only friend I've got. Everyone else has walked away from me because of him."
My urge to act is so great...
But I know that it's not my place to act for her.
All I can do is offer support... give advice that she's heard a million times over, and pray that she can find the strength to do what, I think, she should do.
She's the one that bled.
I'm the one still crying.
I don't want to be blissfully ignorant of all the wrongs happening. But I don't want to see this s*.
I don't want my heart to grow hard or cold in order to stomach these wrongs. But I won't let myself turn away.
I don't have to deal with the bruises, but I do have to figure out how to deal with the situation... if only for myself. And I'm not sure how to do that...
(I watch blood, guts and gore in movies, and cheer when someone's head gets lopped off, then critique the arc and force of the blood spray. I see the effects of a back-hand, and I'm sniffling and shaking, my mood completely shattered. *sigh* My only comfort is the knowledge that I haven't been completely de-sensitized by television and movies...)
((Speaking of -- If you get a chance to watch "Children of Men", please do. The movie itself is good, but there's a scene right near the end that sent shivers through my very soul.))
About Me
- Diseria / Tanya
- I write so that I may understand... anything and everything that I can.
No trees were harmed in the creation and distribution of this picture.
However, a great many electrons were terribly inconvenienced!!
6 comments:
I'm not sure why calling the cops is such a bad idea; but I'd suggest talking with the experts at the clinic behind the philosophy house.
Why do you think it's a good idea?
If I honestly thought the cops would do some good (i.e. via punishment, he'd learn that his actions are wrong), I would have called last year already... But I don't think punishment is the answer, and I hate relying on outside authority figures.
I don't think that that is the most correct action. It's simply a way of getting someone else to do the dirty work for you, and hoping that the wrong-doer will magically realize their mistake... without any discussion.
In this case, I fall prey to listening to the consequences of an action, rather than the action itself.
In short, I didn't call the cops because, using the colloquial phrase, he'd come gunnin' for me. I didn't question him because he'd jump down my throat.
However, my in-action is, at least in some measure, a tacit admittance of his 'power'. And that bothers me...
The only way to dominate, to have true power over another, is by that other person submitting. And I, by my inaction, in effect, submitted.
So how do I un-submit? Stand up for a girl who won't stand up for herself? Stand up for the principles that I was raised with, and chance getting my butt kicked?
...have I missed an opportunity for correct action?
The cops are a good idea if something illegal has occured (as I assume it has), though I don't want to see you endanger yourself in the process. Furthermore, (and more theoretically) I don't believe that one can only be dominated as a consequence of submission -- if the other is powerful or lucky enough, domination can be a one-sided affair, as the US currently dominates the economies of many smaller nations.
And if those nations suddenly stood up and said 'No!'?
Aside from some mutterings of a powerless underclass, how would this occur?
I'm sorry, but how many divinely appointed monarchs lost their power and their lives to the revolutions of the "powerless underclass"??
Why do you assume that the underclass is powerless?
The destitute have nothing to lose, and should be most feared. The poor are the ones that keep the country running (tradespeople, farmers, et cetera). If the poor/lower class suddenly stopped working, the food and products stop coming in, and the middle and upper classes _have_ to act in some fashion -- *how* they act, that's another thing. (Likewise, if the poor/lower classes come into power and simply rearrange the boot, then they've simply exchanged pawns without changing, or winning, the game.)
If everyone in any given city stopped shopping at walmart, then the store would close, no?
Why do you think that this doesn't carry through with countries??
Dionysius the Elder showed Damocles what it meant to be powerful by “symboliz[ing] the fears of kingship by hanging a drawn sword over [his] head” (Boethius, 51).
You wrote: "Furthermore, (and more theoretically) I don't believe that one can only be dominated as a consequence of submission -- if the other is powerful or lucky enough, domination can be a one-sided affair, as the US currently dominates the economies of many smaller nations."
When playing poker, bad luck may cause you to get a shitty hand, or a series of shitty hands... It might even cause you to lose your entire pot by the end of the night. But luck does not, at all, determine how you play the game.
Aside from my (probably weak) analogy, there's a difference in the appearance or physical motions of submission, and the actual breaking of spirit. A big huge brute could break down my door and demand submission. Because I fetch the brute a glass of water does not mean that I'm not biding my time, looking for a moment to escape...
The question to ask is whether the peoples' spirits have submitted or not.
Post a Comment